Reminiscing about my Momma Dee...

 

Thinking of my grandmother today - no particlar reason - just because - or perhaps because the holidays are approaching - it's getting close to Thanksgiving.  I ponder about my menu for this year's Thanksgiving and remembering past years.  Many thoughts of my grandmother run through my mind. 

This photo ornament of Momma Dee

hangs center front each year on my Christmas tree!

 

We called her Momma Dee.  Oh, how I'd love to eat one of her homemade rolls right now!!! Instead of retyping many of my thoughts - I'd like to share the eulogy I wrote about her when she passed away in 2009.

 

As I stood before her friends and family and spoke about her, I felt both pain and sorrow - yet, peace and love. 

 

Momma Dee

(Gayla’s notes – Momma Dee’s eulogy)

I was almost grown when I realized her name was Gladys Dee.

 

 

She was known as Momma Dee by almost everyone in our community – I never thought anything about it - the neighbors called her Momma Dee -- our friends from school called her Momma Dee -  people at church called her Momma Dee.  She was not their Mother.  She was not their grandmother but she was Momma Dee to them also.

 

Everywhere you turned you heard the name – Momma Dee.

 

 

What a compliment – I cannot think of a better compliment than to have almost everyone you know refer to you by this endearing name beginning with Momma -- Momma Dee.

 

 

Well, Momma Dee – as many of you know – was not my mother either.  She was my grandmother and it was indeed a pleasure to call her Momma Dee.  I knew she was special – not because everyone called her Momma Dee – but because of her laugh, giggle, smile, and kindness - but most of all her love.

 

 

I worked with her at the shoe store from a very early age.  Most of you would not believe how young I was when I would go with her to the shoe store and my job was to watch to make sure no one stole anything.  I was in the 3^rd grade and she taught me to count money back to the customers.  We didn’t have cash registers that told us how much cash to give back either – we had to count it back the old fashioned way.  I was too young to be paid – but I would usually get a free pair of shoes.

 

 

How could I not become a shoe horse – after all – my Momma Dee sold shoes.  She could just look at your foot and she would know what size shoe you wore.  She could also visit with you briefly and know the kind of shoe you would like. 

 

 

The admiration and friendships she acquired during her tenure as a shoe clerk were remarkable.  It seemed as though everyone walking down the street either stopped in to say hello or waved as they walked by the store window.   She was interested in everyone – whether it was that homeless family walking down the street with dirty and torn clothing or that well to do woman with expensive clothes who lived in a fancy house – Momma Dee offered her kindness all the same.

 

 

I worked with her at the shoe store all throughout my young life even after graduating from high school and attending college - I still worked with her on Saturdays and holidays.  By this time I was paid – but – I probably would have done if for a free pair of shoes.

 
 

At Christmas everyone in the family got a new pair of shoes.  She would have every person come by the shoe store and pick out their shoes for Christmas – she would wrap them in Christmas wrap – did not write anyone’s names on the packages – but she knew which shoe box belonged to whom.  I will admit some times she got it mixed up – not often – but I am sure most of us can recall opening someone else’s shoes at Christmas.

 

She taught me to wrap Christmas gifts – As I wrap Christmas packages today I see her standing at my shoulder showing me how to wrap those corners neat and crisp.  I did it just exactly as she told me.  I admit today – mine are not nearly as neat and crisp as hers – but I do try and most of all I think of her as I wrap them.

 

 

Momma Dee and I always worked Christmas Eve.  When we would get home all the family would be at her house waiting on us.  It would be dark outside – excitement in my heart – her face smiling because it was Christmas at her house and everyone was waiting for her – and her cornbread dressing and homemade pies.  I still feel the cold air on my face – tired from working at the shoe store – but renewed energy would fill my body when I stepped out of the vehicle and walked into her house.  The smell of her fresh cedar Christmas tree.  Aunts/uncles/cousins gathered in her tiny house – it was shoulder to shoulder people.

 

 

I was always impressed with her energy, her dedication, and loyalty, but what I was most impressed with was her spirit and laughter and joy she brought to me every single time I was with her.  Her smile – was infectious – her laughter - contagious – her giggle familiar.  My father used to say it was something to see if you ever got Gayla and Momma Dee to giggling.  It was even better to get Gayla, Vickie Sue, Mack and Momma Dee giggling.  Well, once it started it was hard to stop.

 

 

 

I recall what a wonderful time I had with her when it was just the two of us at the shoe store – talking and giggling.  What a wonderful Saturday for me to be with her all day – watching her do what she did best – make everyone feel good – make everyone feel important and I think she made most people who walked in the store feel her joy and laughter.

 

 

 

Well, you have to be pretty confident to claim to be the best – at anything – but around here we claim that Momma Dee made the best pies in the world.  Fried pies, cream pies, custard pies, fruit pies, cobbler pies, any kind of pie you can imagine she could make it and it would indeed be the best you ever tasted.  Her flaky crust – the perfect texture and the taste in your mouth – words cannot describe it.  If you never tasted Momma Dee’s pies – you missed out!  If you did taste her pies – then, you know  what I’m talking about.

 

 

Divinity candy was another specialty of hers.  Many could make fudge and peanut brittle – but not everyone could make divinity.  She could tell which day was best for divinity by the humidity in the air.

 

 

Home made ice cream is another memory which sticks vividly with me.  Us kids sitting on top of the old crank ice cream maker.  I can hear the noise from the cranking with the ice and ice cream salt.  Everyone loved her home made ice cream.  I liked the taste of it – but it gave me a headache.  She said I ate it too fast – but that was the only way I knew to eat it.  

 

 

Popcorn balls and caramel apples at Halloween.  The front door open for kids to freely come in for their popcorn ball.  They were not individually wrapped either – we didn’t think anything about it – it never entered our minds that someone might put something bad in our Halloween treats.  And those popcorn balls were definitely a treat for us kids. 

 
 

Many years ago – and a couple weeks before my birthday – she asked me what I wanted for my birthday.  I said “chicken and dumplings and homemade rolls”  Well, you know it – the morning of my birthday she calls me on the telephone and tells me to come get my chicken and dumpling and rolls.  I drove from Little Rock to Greenbrier to get them, too.  I still taste them as though I ate them yesterday.  To this day I can not order chicken and dumplings at a restaurant because they do not come close to tasting like Momma Dee’s.  Words cannot do justice to her rolls.  They were wonderful – that is all I can say about them – absolutely wonderful.  A lot of people can make rolls – but they didn’t taste like Momma Dee’s.

 
 

I think of the many times when I visited my parents she would call and tell me to come over – and when I would get there – she would have a care package for me to take home.  Yes, it was HOMEMADE ROLLS!   The best homemade rolls ever.  When I would get home my husband and I would sit down in the kitchen – get the butter – and eat almost the entire batch.

 

Through the years I have very proudly told many of my friends that – my grandmother played the church piano – my mother at the church organ – and my sister and I as very young kids sitting on the front row.  Looking back on it today – what a blessing. 

 

Many times as I stepped upon the front porch of her house - I could hear Momma Dee playing the piano.    Yes, it would be a church hymn.  Her door unlocked and I would open the front door, walk in and yell “Momma Dee.”  She would stop playing and greet me with her fabulous smile and kindness….leading me to the kitchen to see what she was going to feed me.  Guess what is usually was?  Rolls – Yes – those famous rolls.  If not rolls, then pie.  Many times both.  I ate them both too!

 

 

During the last years of her life – as I sat in a chair with her in her room – she would look at me and just smile from cheek to cheek.  She told me almost every time I visited how pretty I looked – how skinny I was – well, we knew better than that – but she told me anyway!  I refuse to remember her in the recent years as she reached the age of 92 plus – yes – that is remarkable – but you know – she was remarkable all throughout her life.

 

 

I’d like to read a message that I think Momma Dee would like a lot.

     

       You can shed tears that she is gone

       Or you can smile because she has lived

       You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back

       Or you can open your eyes and see all she has felt

 

       Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her

       Or you can be full of the love you shared

       You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

       Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

 

       You can remember her and only that she is gone

       Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

       You can cry and close your mind

       Be empty and turn your back

       Or you can do what she would want:

              Smile, Open Your Eyes,

              Love and go on

 

Momma Dee was a remarkable woman with her years of devotion and love to her family and friends.  She treated her friends like family and her family like friends. 

One of my favorite songs talks about the good we get from other people and though I don’t recall the exact words – it describes how I feel when I think of how Momma Dee influenced me for the good –

I have heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason – bringing something we can learn – and we are led to those who help us most to grow –  but I know I’m who I am today – because I knew you – Momma Dee

So much of me is made of what I learned from you – Momma Dee

 

You’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart – I love you - Momma Dee

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By Gayla Tapley Sybert

February 2009